My Worst 5 Movies of 2015

5. Kingsman: The Secret Service

Man, I really dislike Matthew Vaughn as a director.  He is the movie industry definition of “too cool for school”.  Kick Ass was a piece of trash, and this movie was made in a similar vain.  Again, this reminds me of a teenager who thinks that if they swears a lot, it will improve their reputation.  In this case, the “swearing” is in the form of a villain with  swords as legs, exploding heads, sadly misplaced anal sex jokes, and a ridiculously gory “Oldboy” style fight scene that made me roll my eyes so far back I could almost see my brain.  This movie tries so hard to be the cool kind in town.

4. Terminator Genisys

The Terminator Franchise, while not being good since the second film, has really gone off the deep end now.  It started off as an interesting curiosity by revisiting the first film in a Back to the Future 2 sort of way.  But then it just gets ridiculous, and pretty much spits all over the brilliance of the early films.  this really is the MTV version of Terminator.  I mean, they felt the need to make Skynet personified.  Really?

3. American Ultra

Somehow someone managed to out-Vaughn Matthew Vaughn.  You wanna see a movie trying so hard to be hip and cool it gives itself a nosebleed? check out American Ultra.  The filmmakers here seem to have the philosophy that the more explosions, fights, and bloody, swollen faces they give us, the more we will love this movie.  They were wrong.  Nothing here holds weight when the character choices make no sense (you should see the impunity with which the CIA kills off innocent citizens).

2. Aloha

It was tough to choose the worst movie of the year between this one and the next.  Aloha was pretty bad.  It was basically a study in how NOT to tell a story.  The plot was a scrambled mess which tried to deal with relationships, government conspiracies, and something to do with Hawaiian spirits.  None of it meshes.  Not to mention that their characters are wildly inconsistent, especially Bradley Cooper’s main character Whatshisface Jones.  He doesn’t even seem like the same person from scene to scene.  Emma Stone is also amazingly bad in this.   Also, the dialogue is completely annoying and pretentious (and this is coming from an Aaron Sorkin fan).

1. Mordecai

And somehow there was a movie worse than Aloha this year, and it came out right at the beginning.  I don’t even know why I went to see it.  Mordecai is garbage from beginning to end.  Johnny Depp, a master of annoying characters, outdoes himself with this uptight, idiotic private investigator? Was that what he was?  I don’t even remember.  All I remember was that their was a vomiting scene that sold it for me as worst movie of the year.