Ian's Movie Reviews
Short Reviews of Movies, Board Games, and Other Stuff

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Soooo… we’ve come a long way from a small band of characters vising an island of dinosaurs and a hiccup in the power. Now we’ve got a volcano threatening to destroy Dino Island, a group of black market mercenaries capturing these creatures, and genetic villainy creating monsters that resemble dinosaurs but are far more menacingly agile?

Sigh, I miss the days when two raptors in a kitchen was enough,

This is not a movie devoid of good ideas; they do have some. As ridiculous a concept as the island exploding is, its an interesting premise to hook the movie onto, and something different than before; should we save the animals or not?

There are also a few set pieces that work quite well, including a dino blood transfusion and an escape from previously mentioned volcano. These action scenes are certainly more outlandish than what came before, but still fun in the moment.

The real problem come with the secondary conflict: black market dino dealers. There is something about this idea that doesn’t seem to fit the Jurassic Park milieu; a group of terrorists essentially who have no regard for human life that the heroes must fight against. There’s even a scene where Chris Pratt fist-punches a bunch of guys with guns as he makes his way across a room.

This whole aspect doesn’t work. It makes everything feel more outlandish and more like a generic action movie. They even try to throw in really dumb stuff like human cloning and even an effigy character of donald trump, which adds unneeded surrealism.

Another issue I had was the ham-fisted wonder and sentiment added it, like a really shoehorned moment where the caravan comes across a brachiosaurus. And the less said about “My Pet Raptor” the better. Also, the ending is sort of frustrating, because as cool as it is, its also just an excuse for the filmmakers to trow in really cool imagery without these images needing to be set up by the story at all.

So though watching dinosaurs on screen remains a thrill on some level, this is a bust. Oh well. We’ll always have raptors in the kitchen.


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