Ian's Movie Reviews
Short Reviews of Movies, Board Games, and Other Stuff

My Worst 5 Movies of 2016

5. Independence Day Resurgence

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I am a big Independence Day fan, but I could not get on board with the  20-years-after sequel.  It was loud and obnoxious and lacked any sort of tension.  The destruction of cities just turned into a white noise of debris which was not remotely interesting.  And the final showdown at the end was laughable.

4. Batman v Superman: Dawn of a Franchise

BATMAN v SUPERMAN

What a joyless, boring outing with a premise that should have been exciting.  I mean, these are the two biggest superheroes in the world!  But they did such a poor job making us care for Superman that it was all for naught.  The dark colour palate, confusing dream sequences whose only purpose is to connect it to the larger cinematic universe, and bad contrivance by the villain all worked against this movie, so much so that the ending, which should have been a big deal, fell flat.

3. Gods of Egypt
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Okay, I don’t actually hate this movie.  Objectively I have to admit its pretty terrible.  Its nothing more than a CGI-fest deriving from the Transformers School of Blockbusters.  There are some really poor performances and some really tired action sequences.  But I don’t have the same level of distaste for this movie as I do the others on this list.  I did find some of the design ideas interesting, and I like Mythology stories even when they are poorly told (which is usually the case).  But lets face it, I can’t overlook the fact that this is a bad movie, just not one that gets my ire up. Unlike the next two…

2. Suicide Squad

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I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to pick on DC, but a bad movie is a bad movie.  The biggest problem with Suicide Squad is the pacing and editing.  It was too frantic, jumping straight into the backstories of all these characters without really letting us get to know any of them(other than maybe Deadshot).  Another huge problem is the overall threat of the film, which seems very out of place for a movie like this and seems to fit more in an Indiana Jones movie or something.  Also, its pretty generic.  Not only that, but because of the poor editing, it seems like it comes out of no where are really has no effect whatsoever.  This was such a disaster.

1. Sausage Party
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An R-rated animated film; how hilarious, right??  I agree, I was interested in that gimmick…. until I watched it.  Its vulgar for the sake of being vulgar, without any level of cleverness to it when there was a lot of opportunity to be.  I saw glimpses of the wit that could have derived from an ‘adult Pixar” cartoon about anthropomorphized food; the Saving Private Ryan spoof was an example, but most of the time they just reverted to saying fuck a lot and making some sort of broad sex joke.  Now, to be far they did have something to say outside their foulness; they were making a commentary on religion that I admit many people could get something out of.  But not me; I hated this movie.  I was hoping for something a lot more interesting and a lot… well… funnier.  But crudeness doesn’t equal funny for me, so that is why this failed.

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