Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Wow. Wow wow. Oh wow. This was beyond awful.

This movie is an absolute mess. The acting is terrible. Every line of dialogue is awkward. The story elements make no sense, and many are just downright stupid. How can they possibly have covered up the robots from the first movie?? They were fighting right in the middle of the city, on the freeway, in clear dayliht in front of everyone! And the fact that they were being covered up didn’t even have any effect on the movie!! And Sam seeing those symbols and freaking out in class? Stupid.

Oh, and I almost forgot! Transformers can replicate humans now?? They’ve become Cylons!? That doesn’t even make sense in their own mythology!!

It seems like they were going for a cheap laugh all the way through but forgot to make the jokes and one-liners funny. His mom on pot? What was the point of that? Bumblebee crying? Honesty? And that Joe Pesci-sounding robot? Wow, was that annoying.

I am trying very hard not to pick apart almost every moment of this movie, because I pretty much could. So many things make no logical sense. Why would the government want to oust the only real protection they have? Why is there suddenly a random cop car chase in Egypt which goes away almost as suddenly? This movie was written for 13 year-olds. I think it was also written BY a 13 year old.

And the racism!! This is a Bay film and so the sexism is live and well. But the racism is truly shocking. Two “gang-banger” robots are introduced which are such blatant black stereotypes its outrageous. And being ridiculous stereotypes is one thing, but when you are inferring that black people are illiterate as well? Yeesh….

The action scenes and special effects are really not that exciting, since the transformers are all just scraps of metal which are really hard to distinguish from one another. There’s no clarity in these scenes and their really just there so that something can blow up, whether its a tower in France or an aircraft carrier.

This is Michael Bay’s worst movie ever. And that, my friends, is saying something.
1/10